My Last Day As A Baker Bronc

     Today was the end of a long journey for me. I've spent the last three years here and changed so much.
     I've gone to school with these people for the past eight years so we have all become brothers and sisters. It's why most of us don't date. Who would want to date their sibling? No one, that's who. It's why if we do date, we date kids form other schools.
     First period we got our end of course exam results (I did well) and the whole class was buzzing with anticipation and nerves. It hadn't hit us yet that this was our last day together. By fifth period however, I was ready to start crying. The following are just a few of the people I had to say goodbye to today.
      I had a couple of friends in theatre who I wouldn't see anymore. Christian was going to Carroll and I asked him if he was going to continue doing theatre over there. He said yes and that made me feel a bit better because I knew I would see him again. I did make him promise to not be better than Ray before I gave him a hug.
     I shared that theatre class with Alec too and he was going to Moody because that dork got into the health and science program. That class we were watching a Broadway documentary and West Side Story segment came up. I looked at all of my friends and they all smiled at me; I looked at Alec and he was slouched over fast asleep. WHAT HUMAN IS ABLE TO SLEEP THROUGH WEST SIDE STORY?! All I'm saying is that he better not sleep like that when I'm up there as Anita. He assured me that he wouldn't.
     The next period was Spanish and I had to say goodbye to Matthew. Matthew is a little monster and he "stans" lots of celebrities. Whenever I am curious about pop culture or music in general, he is my go-to guy. His Twitter is @MatthewBGaGa1 and you should all go follow him. Anyway,Matthew is very...well he's very white. Spanish is not his strongest subject and often depends on other people to help him. The day before, we took our final exam for Spanish and needless to say, we were all worried about the grade he would be making. He needed to make a B and he had a 78.6 in that class. When we got our scores back he informed us that he got a 99! Good for Matthew! We were all very proud of him and sad to see him go. But hey, he heard the Spanish teacher at King is very lenient so hopefully he will survive without us.
    In U.S. History I had to say goodbye to Ryan because he, like Alec, was going to Moody. When I first met Ryan we were doing a duet scene. He was a fox who was trying to convince a bunch of grapes to let him eat them. I was the grapes (not exactly winning a Tony for that performance anytime soon). It was a comedic scene and our director decided to showcase it so it was a success. This year Ryan and I became closer through our History class and NJHS. Everybody had him in a group hug as the final bell rang. Needless to say, the tears flowed freely.
     The hardest to say goodbye to however was definitely Steff. We rode the bus together for five years straight and old each other everything. We were best friends and she is going to Carroll in the fall. We both saw this coming but didn't want to acknowledge it until now. As we got nearer and nearer to her stop the tears came more and more. What would we do without each other? We vowed to do things together over the summer and I hope she stays true to her promise.
    


     Today was a very hard day because I had to say goodbye to say to a lot of people. Really it wasn't goodbye but a see you later. I know I can call, text, and look at their Facebooks, but it's not the same. We can't see each other everyday anymore. When we do meet again, it will be a special occasion, not just another Tuesday. Today was inevitable because now I can go to Ray in the fall and be totally prepared. Even though I said goodbye to these people, I will always have their love and support.

Auditions and How They Aren't the End of the World

     At every audition there are those kids who think that they are just the bee's knees and are better than everyone else. Just because they star in everything, can sing "Defying Gravity" better than Idina Menzel herself and have been in dance classes since before they could even walk. There is always at least one.
     I am not one of these people. Sure I do shows but I'm not winning an Oscar anytime soon. As for my singing (oh God...), my own mother has asked me to stop singing in the car. Dance-wise I'm not terrible but I've never taken a dance class in my life.
     So I have no reason to be one of those crazy confident people. The thing is, I am. I know what I can and cannot do. I know that when I go onstage people are going to look at me; they are here to judge me. That's the whole point of theatre. Hey! Look at me! I'm here to tell you a story! Isn't that an established fact? It shouldn't come as a shock. This is why I get so frustrated with people who are there looking nauseous at auditions. If it makes you sick and uncomfortable, why do you put yourself through it?
     I don't get nervous before an audition; I get nervous immediately after. As soon as I walk offstage I think about how I could've done things differently. How that sucked compared to what I can actually do.  I always have to have faith that the director sees something in me that he/she likes.
     The picture above was taken at an audition. There was a line of chairs along the wall all filled with auditioners. I was second to last. As the auditions went on and the chairs began to become empty I noticed the boy next to me, Alec, kept looking worse. At first we made conversation but suddenly it died. Alec started looking greener than his shirt.
     Because of the lack of conversation, I started to talk to my friend, Natalya. Natalya was across the hallway and was the one who took the picture. She was laughing at how calm I was compared to the now sickly Alec.
     Soon it was my turn. I went in, did my two monologues and even got complemented on my characterization from my auditor. I came back out into the hallway and told Alec it was his turn. His face made it look like I just told him I just murdered his whole family and that he was next. He came out not even thirty seconds later. I asked him how it went and he told me about the horrible experience.
     He went into the room, and said "Hi my name is Alec and-". Then he made eye contact with our auditor and froze up. Then he just walked right back out of the room.
     A piece of advice? If you are someone like Alec don't audition. Work on your confidence. Wait until you know what you can do. Once you know what you can do, show it. Audition your butt off and do your best every time. It may take time but with every audition you get better and better, trust me. Soon you will be one of those kids that has crazy confidence because you've auditioned so much. An audition? No problem!