"Roast Beef" and How My Biology Teacher Expects Me to Cut Open A Heart

     When I signed up for Biology, I was warned with things like "You know it's a high school class, right?", "It goes on your transcript." and "Are you sure you can do this?" It's the fifth six weeks and I've made straight A's. Wednesday however I was faced with the biggest test of the year. Not the end of course exam; dissection day.     My Biology teacher, Mr. Jesse, was having the whole class dissect sheep hearts. Who in their right mind asks middle schoolers to do this?! It has the words "bad idea" all over it.
     I put on gloves with the weird power in them, goggles that always left whisker marks all over my cheekbones and an almost transparent apron. I sat at my table with my lab partner, Melissa, and sulked. I really didn't want to do this. I mean really! Who knows where that heart has been?! Oh wait, I do. INSIDE A FREAKING SHEEP!!! What did the sheep do to deserve this, Mr. Jesse? Better yet, what did I do to deserve this?!
     So Mr. Jesse walked around with a tray to all of the tables delivering their hearts. With each table he got closer, I felt another wave of nausea hit me like a brick. I thought about just puking so I wouldn't have to do it but puke is almost as gross as a sheep heart (almost).
     Finally Mr. Jesse got to our table and set down this lump of I-don't-even-know-what on our newspaper next to our tools. It had spots of gray, dark purple, white and even a little green. The smell was ungodly. The formaldehyde (used as a preservative) soaked our paper and got everywhere. Melissa asked our teacher about it and his response was to tell me to go wash it. HE TOLD ME TO GO WASH A SHEEP HEART! 
     After I washed it (set it down at the bottom of the sink and let the water run) the smell was more tolerable. Still not pleasant, but now withstandable.
     Then we had to start making incisions. Melissa made the initial ones because I had washed it after all.
     I had to make some cuts too but I came up with a method. Roast beef. It isn't a sheep heart, its just roast beef. "I am not cutting apart a vital organ, I am just making a sandwich." See but then I started to feel kinda like Sweeney Todd and I freaked myself out again.
     Eventually I got through the dissection (and learned nothing mind you!). I tossed the left over pieces and then washed my hands like I never had before in my life. But that wasn't the end! I have Biology first period so the smell of formaldehyde stayed on my clothes all day. It was unnerving to say the absolute least.
     So words of advice to all you Biology students: pretend it's roast beef. And to all the Biology teachers out there: If you want your students to hate you forever, ask them to do a dissection for a grade.